(I wouldn’t say no to a generous salary, either.) I’d really, really like my purpose to involve work that’s a little bit fancier and prestigious. We all live ordinary lives with ordinary, necessary, but not-fun challenges. Your mundane, purpose-driven but less-than-loved tasks might look different than mine-making peace with singleness, caring for an elderly parent, or enduring financial hardship. I love my kids, but the idea of childcare being my life’s main purpose makes me want to poke my eyes out. Honestly, I got tired of changing diapers. I thought "purpose" would be prestigious, but I’ve often found it in the mundane.Ĭan I say something that I really wish weren’t true? Feeding kids, doing laundry, and changing diapers has been part of God’s purpose for my life. I’ve found great comfort in realizing that the ebbs and flows of my life are both modeled in Scripture (wandering the desert, anyone?) and reflected in nature (the cycles of tides, moons, and even my own body.) I’m on a long journey towards God’s kingdom, not parked ‘til retirement in a cosmic cubicle. In truth, our purpose is an ever-evolving, multifaceted apprenticeship to Jesus, not a single, clearly defined role that lasts forever. God didn’t design our purpose to fit only one stage of life. God created the aging parents we care for, is unsurprised by our mental or physical health problems, and pays attention when we move to new states. To wit: when I had kids, I didn’t have time or energy for “ministry.” I barely had energy to wash my hair.īut God created babies, and post-partum recovery, and parenthood. When I landed a “purpose,” I should keep it for life.īut like the modern job market, purposeful living isn’t that straightforward. I should put together a mental resume and seek out job openings (ministry or service opportunities) that fit my profile. I thought "purpose" was a fancy destination, not a long, dusty journey.įor most of my Christian life, I assumed finding my purpose was like a cosmic job search. Here’s what I got wrong about finding my purpose. I couldn’t see it, even though it was right under my feet. I couldn’t recognize God’s purpose in my ordinary life because I didn’t really understand what purpose was. At the time, I didn’t give myself credit for how I already served God. Six years later, my old shame makes my heart hurt. Pedro’s question showed me I had stopped believing God could use me for anything important. But it didn’t work like I’d hoped-and then I got pregnant. In my twenties, I had assumed the right ministry role would give me my One True Purpose.
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But having kids had made it harder to serve, and pursuing new ways to ‘use my gifts’ exhausted me. I’ve always been a doer, an achiever, a planner. I stared at him, a sudden knot in my throat.